Do you sometimes get the feeling that life is overtaking you?
The last couple of months, I did.
During my recent pregnancy check up at 25 weeks, I found I’d gained 4 kgs in 4 weeks. Four kilos! I’ve been pregnant 3 times before, but I’ve never gained at a rate as quickly as this.
Not that I worry about getting fat (the least of my concerns), but that explains why I’ve been feeling so heavy of late.
And why every time I perform a task, I feel like an elephant is sitting on top of me.
Every effort at the sink to wash dishes and every bend at the countertop to fix snacks and prepare meals has been giving me a backache. I try keeping good posture most of the time but when I’m doing kitchen work as often as I do, I suppose some strain becomes inevitable.
It feels that much more exhausting, trying to get to the park every morning, loading the stroller and lifting two-and-a-half year old Piglet into his car seat.
Then there are those familiar, excruciating leg cramps that wake me up at night and keep me awake for quite awhile after.
Interrupted sleep, trying to turn my torpedo-shaped belly over, trying to get back to sleep again.
Then, waking to another full day of homeschooling and homemaking.
And going through it over, and over, and over again.
So I said “no” to blogging and social media until I felt my engine had recovered enough.
Saying “no” isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Because sometimes even the good things can bog us down. The good can become the enemy of the best.
Doing my duty to our family and being cheerful about it hasn’t always – and still isn’t – the easiest thing.
On many days I feel like turning into a green monster at some point. Like when there is a pee-pee mess in the toilet I just cleaned, or when someone is “trying to poo” on someone else when I’m spending just a few minutes trying to clear my inbox. For crying out loud!
After a strenuous July, August began with a lot of griping on my part. Then it proceeded to the realisation that I could either make the worst of the next few months or turn them into the best times to remember.
Most importantly, I woke up again to the fact that complaining is a grevious injury to a God who is always good. Always.
God has blessed me with all those little things in life that go mostly unnoticed under the radar of today’s fast-paced, instant-food, career-centered, technology-centered existence.
The delight of many beautiful mornings, dry and wet, outdoors with little ones. Hunting for snails. Doing primate exercises. Soaking up wondrous Vitamin D and fresh air. Playing frisbee and play pretend ship.
Learning how to make kefir and watching everyone get a good kick out of germs. If you haven’t heard of kefir and its amazing health benefits, check out this link.
Finding satisfaction in more things homemade like yogurt cheese, wholewheat thins, cheese biscuits, banana tea loaves, and learning how to make my bread nice and fluffy.
Stepping out of ourselves to share joy with others – facilitating a 7-week Marriage Course, supporting Sweet Man in planning a Family Camp for a great bunch of people, and connecting with parents at a Focus on the Family parenting talk 2 weeks ago.
Parenting? I was a whole bunch of nerves because Sweet Man and I feel so raw and green to be presenting on such a subject, but apparently it went well. There was even a reader of this blog in the audience. Yikes! Who knew? Our topic was “Love Them, and Let Them Know”.
Making origami with the kids on wet evenings.
There have been other good things.
Returning to a fresh dependency on God who makes all things possible. When the Hulk begins emerging from the depths within, there is nothing more needed than a miracle via a lightning bolt prayer.
Watching Piglet’s growing independence, self esteem and joy in accomplishing tasks.
Feeling a reemergence of pregnancy nausea because of fatigue but being inspired by child-drawn love notes on a difficult morning when I want to stay another 2 hours in bed.
Reorganising homeschool supplies, putting our upstairs in order again after our house tenant finished her term, and tweaking our home schedule to make it work better for everyone.
Life’s been tiring. But oh so good.
Note to self: Remember that. Everyday.
What are some things that have kept you going?