I love you, #4

Dear #4,

Finally, you are here. 10 weeks in my womb.

You are an answer to prayer. The one my heart uttered 2 years ago just after your older brother, Piglet, was born.

As with your other siblings, (dare I say it here?) you came after a dream or prophecy I received about 3 months before you were conceived. You will be a … and your name will be … I got all that.

You are a rarity. The registrar at the hospital told me I am a Champion for being bold enough to have a 4th. Because most Chinese in Malaysia only have 1 or 2.

I suppose some people might say I am bold. Some might say I am foolish and ignorant of hard times in Malaysia’s political-economic climate today.

But I don’t feel any of those things. I feel strong in the knowledge that my heavenly Father is above all powers. As the song says – He is above all nature and all created things. He is faithful, all-sufficient, almighty, and the giver of all good gifts. His ways are not our ways. He has proven that throughout human history, not least in the brief 7 years of my life raising 3 other little ones. My greatest desire is that you will come to know Him the way I do. No, much more. And you will be that gift you were created to be, to all those around you.

So yes, I feel strong. But right now I don’t feel the kind of bravado connected with boldness. Each day I feel sick with nausea, water aversion, fatigue and try to run away from smells at every corner even in our home. I just got up in the middle of the night, feeling chilled and pukey and came down to snack. Then I remembered dinner was still left out on the table and I had urgent emails and overdue messages to attend to.

I try to do what I can, continuing with homeschooling most days, trying to keep up with the unending needs of your siblings and occasionally having to let them free play for a couple of hours straight because I’m so exhausted. They’ve been so good on the whole, though. Piglet has taken it upon himself to pray an extra prayer during mealtimes, “Pray mommy feel better.” Bless his heart.

I hope you are growing well, healthy and strong. Recently I turned down 2 work-from-home job offers to take care of my body and of you. Even though the days seem long, I know you will take only a short time to grow inside me and the little work that I have now can grow in future.

You are loved, so much. I cannot wait to meet you this December.

All my love,

Mom.

11 Comments

  • Kiddothings
    May 14, 2013 7:52 am

    Congratulations Mama J! So glad that your prayers for a 4th has been answered. Take care!

  • Runnermomjen
    May 14, 2013 8:04 am

    So SO happy for you!!! Congratulations, and I really hope you’re feeling better soon!!
    xoxo

  • Ingrid Wilson
    May 14, 2013 10:29 am

    Congratulations… I am so excited for you. My 4th pregnancy flew past and we are now enjoying our littlest one. We praise God with you for his blessings and pray that you will be able to rest and wait on Him. Yay

  • mummyshymz
    May 14, 2013 10:33 am

    I hope the nausea gets better soon. Congrats on expecting #4!

  • Mei
    May 14, 2013 2:53 pm

    Hey, congrats on #4! Not so great about the nausea et al, but that will pass (hopefully very soon!). Here’s wishing you a wonderful pregnancy.

  • Mama J
    May 14, 2013 5:22 pm

    Thanks, G! Good to hear from you 🙂 At last you will hear me stop breathing pipe dreams of having a 4th. Hope you and your family are well!

  • Mama J
    May 14, 2013 5:44 pm

    Thank you Jen! Glad to join your mom’s club of 4.

  • Mama J
    May 23, 2013 11:38 pm

    Thanks, Mei! The delivery for me is somehow easier than the pregnancy – it’s uncomfortable yes, but doesn’t last so long 🙂

  • Mama J
    May 23, 2013 11:50 pm

    Thanks! I hope it eases off soon too. Tomorrow!

  • mummyshymz
    May 23, 2013 11:55 pm

    take care 🙂

  • Mama J
    May 23, 2013 11:56 pm

    Thanks, Ingrid! I still remember your 4th pregnancy and the photos you took. You look like you had a lot of fun! God is wonderfully generous and I trying to wait on Him daily for help through. Thankfully the kids know I don’t have energy for too much these days and are trying to be helpful. Ahhhh…..

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